Friday, December 25, 2020

That night on the marge of Lake Lebarge...

Our Christmas Eve walk was an easy one this year.  No Yak-tracks or snowshoes were needed.  

The bright sunshine was a nice gift since we have had a lot of cloudy, gloomy days this December.  


Our house is surrounded by trees which means that we haven't been able to see Jupiter align with Saturn as it's too low in sky for us.    We can't see the moon rising at this time of the day from our house but we can as we walk past our neighbors place. 

Retired Mountain Man and I are ready to celebrate and enjoy Christmas and the upcoming new year.  There is hope on the horizon with the new vaccines for Covid-19 and we look forward to being able to enjoy family and friends up close.   

They say that by summer we should be nearing  the end of the six feet of social distancing and wearing facemasks.  I just want to be able to hug my children and grandchildren.  Bring it on. 


 One week to go and this year is in the rear view mirror.  Jon and I have agreed that we will do whatever is necessary to get through our long winter and to the other side of Covid-19.  

A bonfire will be needed to rid us of 2020 and celebrate 2021. We have always had a bonfire on New Year's Eve, but this year it will be even more significant. 






 Thinking about the fire reminded me of this poem.  It is one of my favorites.  Jon's father Jim, loved to recite it. 

Yes, it is a little twisted for Christmas Day, but hey, it's still 2020.  Everything is out of kilter.

The Cremation of Sam McGee

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
      By the men who moil for gold;
  The Arctic trails have their secret tales
      That would make your blood run cold;
  The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
      But the queerest they ever did see
  Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
      I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and blows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam 'round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a spell;
Though he'd often say in his homely way that 'he'd sooner live in hell'.

On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.
Talk of your cold! through the parka's fold it stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn't see;
It wasn't much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee.

And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the snow,
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o'erhead were dancing heel and toe,
He turned to me, and 'Cap,' says he, 'I'll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I'm asking that you won't refuse my last request.'

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn't say no; then he says with a sort of moan:
'It's the cursed cold, and it's got right hold till I'm chilled clean through to the bone.
Yet 'taint being dead - it's my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you'll cremate my last remains.'

A pal's last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;
And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! he looked ghastly pale.
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in Tennessee;
And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee.

There wasn't a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-driven,
With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get rid, because of a promise given;
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: 'You may tax your brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it's up to you to cremate those last remains.'

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code.
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a ring,
Howled out their woes to the homeless snows -O God! how I loathed the thing.

And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting low;
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;
And I'd often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the 'Alice May.'
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;
Then 'Here,' said I, with a sudden cry, 'is my cre-ma-tor-eum.'

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared, and the furnace roared - such a blaze you seldom see;
And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.

Then I made a hike, for I didn't like to hear him sizzle so;
And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, and the wind began to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled down my cheeks, and I don't know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went streaking down the sky.

I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled with grisly fear;
But the stars came out and they danced about ere again I ventured near;
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: 'I'll just take a peep inside.
I guess he's cooked, and it's time I looked then the door I opened wide.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: 'Please close that door.
It's fine in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in the cold and storm -
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it's the first time I've been warm.'

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

Thursday, December 24, 2020

The same - or different?

Welcome to Christmas Eve 2020.   As my friend Linda said yesterday when she stopped by to drop off a Christmas gift, "Christmas is sure different this year". 

Different

In our pod the traditional Christmas dinner is a "no-go".  I am going to bake a Northern Mallard Duck for dinner.  We had three of them in the freezer thanks to cousin Kermit and the one I baked a couple of weeks ago was excellent.  

Also different - the photos for this post were taken in 2012.   


We will hold on to a few traditions though as we're going to have oyster stew for Christmas Eve dinner.   That was a tradition even where I grew up in Nebraska.  My dad liked oyster stew and it was a real treat to have frozen oysters back then.  I remember that they came in a cardboard container and it was a special order from the grocers.

I will say that as a child, I did not care for oysters and my brothers and sisters felt the same.  My mom had to cook up a chili for the five kids.  That tradition continued on all these years until recently.  One soup is enough.


Today, we learned from son David that he is having a homeowners nightmare of trying to replace their water heater, which is a gas, forced exhaust heater.  They are not available in Missoula so the on-going discussion via text is whether to replace with an electric, tankless??  Christmas Eve is not the best timing for home repairs.

Luckily, no appliance breakdowns here.  Knock on wood.

Yesterday I baked cookies and today I will frost them.   Also on the baking schedule is a peach pie.  
I listen to the news and try to ignore all of the shenanigans going on by the powers that be.  The world it seems is full of the "haves" and the "have nots".    

Grace and mercy will be bestowed upon many who are undeserving while millions of people are grieving and suffering.  It seems especially wrong on Christmas Eve.



It is true.  
Every day is a gift.  
Don't waste it.

As I browse through my folders filled with photos taken of our family and friends at Christmas and New Year's, it brings back many wonderful memories.  

2012 seems more like a hundred years ago.


I love this photo of "the crash".  I'm certain there was a discussion going on about exactly how it happened.  


In 2012 this doormat was humorous.   In 2020 we welcome anyone to show up at our door (as long as they are wearing a facemask).   


Eight years later, it looks the same out there today as in the photo below.  A little sunshine and a bit of snow on the ground.   I don't remember what was happening when the photo was taken.  I'm laughing and Retired Mountain Man looks a scared.  Maybe someone just told us that Donald Trump was going to be president in 2016 and that in 2020 there would be a world-wide pandemic.

Merry Christmas! 

 

Monday, December 21, 2020

A short day

Yesterday was one of those slow days.  At least it seemed that way even though it was the shortest day of the year.  


Retired Mountain Man and I had to change the windshield wiper blades on the car.  
I have never changed them.  In years past I bought the wiper blades at the parts store and they would always come out to the car and put them on for me.  A great service that I didn't appreciate at the time.

As we all know, this year everything is different.  I ordered the wiper blades online and once they arrived we took a look at the directions on how to install them.  I learned more than I wanted to know.  There were instructions for seven different types of blades.  I had no clue which one was ours.

I think this calls for a joke.  I need my grandson Ben to come up with one.  He's very good at making up jokes.  

It should start out with something like, "How many old duffers does it take to change a windshield wiper blade?" 


It turns out that we have a "J-Hook" connection on our blade.  After attaching the new one on the blade it was supposed to simply "click" in place.  Good luck with that.  
Anyhow, after about twenty minutes of fiddling with it, we finally had success. 
  
There was still some sunlight left so we decided to haul in more firewood. 


This photo was taken on December 1st 2013.  The sun setting, but headed towards Winter Solstice. 


Whenever we bring in firewood, we play a game of Fetch the Ball with Maggie.  She has the routine down and drops the ball when we come back out the basement door.  She's ready for another toss. 
In dog thinking, Maggie is playing Fetch the Ball with her "people".  Maggie drops the ball wherever she wants.  She whines until WE go fetch it and throw it to her.  I don't mind.  I love dogs.

I also love that on December 21st the days start to get longer.  A sign of new and better days to come.  

That's today. 

Enjoy this song.  It speaks to Winter Solstice.  I bought this album at the Coldwater Creek store back when it was still located on the Cedar Street Bridge. It is one of my Christmas favorites.
Winter Dreams - Coventry Carol 
Native American Flute 

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Sunday, December 20, 2020

Traditions

The tree is finally decorated, with the blue angel on the top.  We've had the blue angel since December 1972.  Back in 1972 we searched everywhere in Missoula for the tree topper and Jon's mother, Lois, finally found one for us.

 Do you remember all of those icicles on the tree?  The icicles they have today aren't worth taking the time to put them on.  




Harold, the goose, is guarding our tree this year.  As our sons and families were all departing last year after Christmas, we found Harold sitting on a tree stump in the driveway. 

I'm just happy to say that we don't have six of them, as in "six geese a laying".  (Don't get any ideas, kids)

Later in the day, we took a short walk in the woods.  It seems strange to be walking the woods and there's no snow on the ground.  This is all we have left.  I call it my snow line photo.   (This morning, there is no snow line at all.)




Maggie was very patient as I kept stopping to take pictures.  This look she sent me was, "Oh, would you please get on with it.  Are we walking or not walking?"



I'm thinking about baking cookies today, but haven't made a full commitment yet.  

Could this be a "five golden rings" day?   

That seems to indicate that I should play some music instead.  We'll see what plays out.  



No, it's not the Twelve Days of Christmas.  This is a version of Jon's favorite Christmas song to sing.  Christmas in Killarney.  I promise you we will sing it at least one time this Christmas.  


I also promise you that on December 31st, somewhere around midnight, we will sing The House of the Rising Sun.  

It's tradition!

Friday, December 18, 2020

A Two-Event Day

It's a Friday.  I have to say it can be hard to keep track of what day of the week it is in our bubble.  This day is different because it is going to be a two-event day.  Event #1:  Delivery of our new TV.  Event #2:  Cut down our Christmas tree. 

Retired Mountain Man and I decided that our Christmas gift would be a new TV.  We have had our "old" one for at least ten years, maybe more.  I bought it one weekend just prior to the Super Bowl when I decided that we needed a new TV to watch the game.

The decision was to rotate the TV's around.  One to the basement and another to the bedroom.  We've never had a TV in the bedroom until last year when it almost became my room of permanent residence after hip surgery and then a broken femur.  Now, we have adjusted to having another set in there and it's kind of nice since we don't have the same tastes in what to watch.  Retired Mountain Man likes all of the nature shows, fishing shows and wilderness type shows.  I don't mind them, but I like comedy and a little humor these days.  Plus, I love movies and RMM does not.

I bought the TV from Costco and they sent me a text saying that the deliveryman would call between 2:00 and 4:00.  Amazingly, he did call at 1:30 p.m.  He said our address actually showed up correctly on his map and that they would be there in 10-15 minutes.



Retired Mountain Man was watching for the truck to come up the driveway when I heard him shout, "there's a guy walking up the driveway and he's pulling a hand cart with a TV on it."  

Apparently, they had a large delivery truck and the driver didn't think he could make it around our corner.  So, this young guy, (good thing he was young) hauled it all the way up the road to our house using a hand cart. 

I'm posting a photo that was taken last year of our driveway to the corner.  You can see that it's a bit of a walk.  I will say that this year we basically don't have any snow, so he was lucky, otherwise he would have needed a sled instead of a hand cart. 

Way to go Costco or maybe I should say "way to go Joe", from  InnovelLogistics, the delivery company for Costco. 

Retired Mountain Man told Joe that if he would take the TV out of the box and put it on the stand, he would pay him $20.  I think it took him about ten minutes to finish the job.  Ta-da!  TV on the stand and up and running.  

Onward to event #2, our Christmas tree.  We have a small tree patch on our property and we have been looking at which one to cut for some time.  

Retired Mountain Man was prepared for doing some sawing on his knees.  He wore his knee pads.  Great idea. 




We think we found a nice one.  



It is partially decorated.  The rest will have to be done tomorrow because the decorator has given it up for the day.  Two major events in one day is exhausting.  All I can say is that after we get our vaccine sometime in the future, I am going to have to ease back into "real full-time life".  


I hope Santa doesn't bring us another lump of coal this year.  It is 2020.






  




 

Thursday, December 10, 2020

Covid-19 Poinsettia

Every year I buy a Christmas poinsettia,  This year  I bought one with curbside pickup.  It fits 2020.  It's the saddest little poinsettia I've ever seen.  I don't think it will last a week.  Poor thing.

It has a dry cough and a fever.  
I think I do have a bit of a green thumb, but I can't save this plant. 

With that said I will move on to what we did today.

We been lucky to have some unusually warm and dry weather for the past week or so although without some snow on the ground it doesn't seem like the holiday season is really here.  It did made it easy for us to get outside and do some Christmas decorating on the front porch.  

 You may notice that I have some new photo editing software and I played around with it a bit on this post.  
We don't have our tree up yet, but we have it picked out.  We do have a baby tree decorated in the front yard.



I cut some boughs to make wreaths and spent a couple of afternoons putting them together.   In years past my friend Ann and I used to spend three or four days in our basement wood room putting together wreaths for family and friends.   We would start out drinking hot chocolate and then move on to wine in the evening.  We listened to Christmas music while we worked and our husbands were on their own to make dinner.

The last two or three years we met at the Hope Community Center.  Everyone brought boughs, ribbon, pinecones and the essentials needed for wreath making.  I sure do miss all of these wonderful ladies.  Fun memories.














The wreath and decorations on the front porch are for the UPS and Fedex delivery persons.  This year, once again, it is online Christmas shopping only.  Last year I had to order online because of my broken femur.  Do you think we will return to in-store shopping when this is over?   






Christmas greetings from Hope.  We have had some beautiful sunsets.



Sunday, December 6, 2020

Common Sense

 I don't have any interesting photos today since Retired Mountain Man and I are just staying at home, hunkered down, waiting out the virus, trying to stay well.  Jon is recovering from another surgery that was done at the hospital in Coeur d'Alene.  It required staying at a motel overnight which was something we didn't want to do, but had no choice.  The positivity rate of covid cases in Coeur d'Alene is high so we were concerned about spending any time there at all.  I can tell you that I took disinfectant wipes and wiped down every surface area in the room.  

We watch the news and all of the craziness going on around us.  Our Idaho legislature meeting in person with none of the Republican members wearing masks.  The leader of the the Idaho Senate stating that "everyone is an adult here, and should take personal responsibility".  All the while the hospitals in Boise are full to the brim and the doctors and nurses are begging people to wear masks and social distance.

In our county, our commissioners want to take away funding from the health district because they dared to put a mask mandate in place.

Our local sheriff says he will not enforce a mask mandate.

Meanwhile, the virus spreads and more people die. 

People have lost their common sense.  

With that said, I read this article in the Washington Post today.  "Voices from the Pandemic".   I feel the same as Bruce MacGillis.   

"Do people understand what's happening here?  

Do they care?"

About this series:
 Voices from the Pandemic is an oral history of covid-19 and those affected. 

Bruce MacGillis, on the excruciating wait for a vaccine inside a coronavirus-infected nursing home 
Bruce:
 I’m happy they put us at the top of the list, but I doubt it’s going to make much of a difference in here. Can I get the vaccine today? Will I have immunity by tomorrow? 'Cause that’s the kind of timeline we need in this nursing home. More than half of this place is covid-positive. I’m one of about 80 residents, and 30 got 
sick this week. 

The first thing I do when I wake up is look down the hallway for the big plastic sheet. That’s what they use to block off the covid area. They sectioned off a whole wing a few days before Thanksgiving. Then they blocked another hallway earlier this week. That plastic sheet keeps moving closer. I’m trying not to panic, but where am I supposed to go? It’s not like I can jump up and make a run for it. I’m in a wheelchair. I haven’t been outside for months. I’m trapped, just like everybody else in this place. We’re at the mercy of this virus. We sit in here and we wait. 

That’s been the story of the last nine months. It’s boredom and then dread. They stopped allowing visitors in March, so we lost that contact with the outside world. Then it was no more group meals in the cafeteria — just eat everything alone in your room. No more trips to physical therapy. No more access to the lounge or computer area. My world keeps getting smaller. I have my little room. I have my old nine-inch TV. I play Sudoku and watch Turner Classic Movies and stare out the window at the woods. I check the latest covid numbers every few hours on my phone. 

All of Ohio is out of control. We managed to keep the virus out of here for a while, but with the numbers this high, it was just a matter of time. I keep reading about how more than 100,000 people have died in places just like this, and I don’t want to be one of them. I make it from one sunrise to the next. I keep breathing. That’s it. That’s the whole goal. I saw my doctor a few weeks ago, before this whole outbreak started. 




I’m only 64, but I have a lot of issues because of my accidents. I used to drive a newspaper truck, and one night I was sitting at a red light with the Sunday paper when I got plowed by a drunk driver. I have balance issues, immune suppression, lung clots, weight problems, high blood pressure. I’ve been here 23 months trying to get better and get home. My doctor told me I have at least nine of the markers that are bad for covid. I asked him: “Are there vitamins I can take? Exercises? What should I do to protect myself?” He said: “Just make sure you don’t get it.”

  Don’t get it. Don’t get it. Don’t get it. That’s what my brain does all day.

I don’t let anybody come near me anymore. I have a little dresser by my door where the nurse aides put my medication and my meals. I stay away. I wait and then put on my gloves, and that’s how I eat. There are a few nurses in the morning that I trust, so that’s when I ask for help and take my shower, but otherwise I’m hunkered down. A few months ago, an aide from a temp agency tried to come in to check my vitals. We didn’t have any cases at that point, and I thought some people here were starting to get a little casual about it. Her mask was down by her chin. I’d seen her with some of the other aides talking in the break room, and they weren’t social distancing up to my standards. I told her: “Stay out of my room.” She said she needed to check my blood pressure. She said: “Why are you making this into such a big deal?” 

I’m a hard-ass about this stuff, and I’m not even a little bit sorry. I can’t afford to take chances. I called our administrator to log a complaint, and finally she turned around and left. I told the administrator: “I’ve studied all the protocols. I know you can’t leave me in the dark on this. If you get a positive case, you’re required to let me know.” 

Two staff members came to my door the Friday before Thanksgiving. They told me one resident had tested positive. They didn’t say how the virus got in. We have staff shortages, and new temps are always coming through. They live in the community. They have kids. Their kids go to school. 

This last month, one in every 50 people in Lake County tested positive. It could have come in from anywhere. I wrote down the time and the date in a notebook I keep next to my bed. “Okay. That’s one. Here we go.” The next day we had another case. Sunday it was two more. Monday we had eight positives. Then a bunch of the staff started to call out sick. I keep on writing it down in my notebook, but it’s getting hard to keep up. Last time I counted our cases, we had 45 residents and 21 staff. That’s all in the last two weeks. 

We need help. Shouldn’t that be obvious? The residents are scared. We can hear the beeps, the patient alarms, the ambulance sirens. We have a good core of people who work here, but a lot of our management is out sick. They keep bringing in new people to fill the gaps, and they’re trying, but this virus keeps spreading. I’m starting to get desperate. I called the county ombudsman to alert him, and he’s supposed to be our advocate, but he said a lot of nursing homes are going through outbreaks right now. He said 30 new cases is not really considered all that extreme, and everyone is trying their best. “Okay. Wonderful. Thank you for that.”

 I called the county, but that didn’t go anywhere. I called the CDC hotline. I called a few local Catholic priests. I called a number I found on Facebook for Dr. Fauci, but that was just another message machine. The Ohio Department of Health finally got back to me after four or five days. They took down a report and said they would notify a supervisor, but there are probably 200 of those reports waiting around in the same file. I haven’t heard back. 

It seems like everyone has just surrendered. I leave messages until my phone runs out of batteries. I charge it up and try again. The other day I spent six hours making calls. I got so fed up that I dialed 911. It’s a recorded line, so at least that way I’m leaving behind some breadcrumbs. At least they’ll have something to go back to if they come in here one day and find 30 residents dead. I explained what was happening to the dispatcher, but she didn’t seem to get it. She kept asking if I was in physical pain. She asked if I wanted an ambulance. I said: “No, no. It’s bigger than that. We’re sitting ducks. We all need to be rescued.” She said: “Sir, what’s your emergency? I’m not hearing an emergency.” 

I don’t know what I expected her to do. She told me I wasn’t being rational, and maybe she’s right. But why is there never any acknowledgment? Why isn’t there urgency? At least 10 people are probably going to die in here, and it might be a lot more. What qualifies as an emergency? It feels like I’m on the Titanic, and we’re sinking, and I’m trying to make contact with the outside world using two soup cans and a string. “Hello? Hello? Can anybody hear me? Is anybody going to do anything?” 

I get this sense sometimes that people are thinking: “Oh, it’s just another nursing home. It’s not a real tragedy. They were already at the end of their road.” And for a lot of people in here, that’s true. This is their last stop. But they’re still people. They’re still alive. There’s one lady in here, and she’s probably 90, and every day she steals cookies out of the cafeteria and acts like she made them herself. She puts on her lipstick and goes from room to room handing out her cookies. When she comes in, it doesn’t matter if you’re hungry. You better take a cookie. It’s what keeps her going. She needs to give it to you. But now the cafeteria’s closed, and she’s lying alone in a dark room like everyone else. 

There’s no human connection, no life, no hope. We’re wilting away in here. Can you understand that? You start feeling like you’ve been forgotten. Where is everyone? Do people understand what’s happening here? Do they care? 

I’m coming to the realization that it’s up to me to watch out for myself. I found a plastic picnic blanket in one of the linen closets, and I’m going to tape it up over my door. Total isolation might be my only chance. I probably have to make it at least another month to the vaccine, and I guess that’s when we’ll become a priority. 

eli.saslow@washpost.com